Yesterday, the State of New Jersey joined Massachusetts, Vermont, and California in extending all rights and priveledges of marriage to gay couples, including adoption, hospital visitation, health insurance, inheritance, and parental rights. Even so, Steve Goldstein, director of the gay rights advocacy group, Garden State Equality (GSE), wasn’t pleased. ''Even by the standards of a civil unions bill, it's putrid,” he said. “I've been with my partner more than 14 years and he's well beyond 'a party to a civil union.’”
Excuse us, Steve, but are we missing something? Okay, sure, the new law isn’t as broad as the one in Vermont, which specifically states that civil unions include ''any definition or use of the terms 'spouse,' 'family,' 'immediate family,' 'dependent,' 'next of kin.' '' And it falls somewhat shy of the law in Massachusetts that refers to such unions as “marriage.” But from where we sit―and for those just tuning in, we’re in the reddest state in the West―the creation of civil unions in any state is cause for celebration. Gay, lesbian, and transgender citizens in New Jersey can now gain access to their hospitalized partners. They can no longer be denied health coverage under their partner’s insurance. They can no longer be denied pension benefits, once the sole province of heterosexual partners. They can no longer be denied their inheritance. They can adopt children. Surely, such progressive leaps should be hailed at a time when our rights are disappearing faster than the snows on Mt. Kilimanjaro.
And yet, Mr. Goldstein―whose disappointment may be linked to his organization’s take-no-prisoners strategy: “to win marriage equality and nothing less!”― isn’t alone. Laren Nicholson-McFadden, one of seven same-sex couples who brought the State Supreme Court case that led to this legislation, lobbied against it. "I will never be allowed to marry the only person I would ever want to marry if you pass this bill," she said, insisting the creation of “civil unions” only fuels discrimination by institutionalizing second-class citizens. As did her partner, Marcye Nicholson-McFadden, who complained that the stigma would be difficult to explain to her kids (testimony that provoked an unrepentant cry of “Child abuse!” from the crowd). Attorney David Buckel, Marriage Project Director at LAMBDA Legal, the organization that represented the couple in court, called the law “one of the largest forms of statutory discrimination ever created by the New Jersey legislature.”
Come on now, guys. Sure, we’d like to see marriage legalized in New Jersey for same-sex couples. Sure, anything less is discriminatory and sets GBLT citizens apart as a separate entity. But we agree with the Human Rights Campaign and others who see this law as a huge step forward. Garden State Equality is to be commended, not only for their efforts regarding this legislation, but also in their fight for transgender rights. And we applaud the hundreds of state-wide organizations who petitioned the governor on behalf of same-sex unions. But let’s remember that we in the GBLT are in the minority and, as such, have an obligation to show gratitude for incremental progress. Kicking the cat when rebuffed only fans the opposition. Gratitude and magnanimy should be the guiding principle. With such an attitude, even those who oppose such unions may same day see the futility of their position.
Andrea Hackett is an freelance journalist, founder of the Las Vegas Dancers Alliance in Nevada, and editor of the Populist Review. She may be contacted at andreahackett@cox.net



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